via Channel NewsAsia
Stumbled upon this interesting Channel NewsAsia article about Lunch Actually, an online dating service here in Singapore. It’s a very long, but insightful read into the dating scene, why people choose online dating, and how stupid people can be when making important relationship decisions.
Somewhere under the “Dates as a commodity and marrying for the wrong reasons” subheading, the interviewee reveals some of the strange choices her clients make:
Lim: So from what I’ve observed with my friends or people that I know, the first one is sometimes people just get married for the wrong reasons.
I know of someone who told me that out of 10, her comfort level with a particular guy was maybe six or seven, but she said that she would go ahead and marry him because he ticked all the boxes in terms of the five Cs, etc. She also said, “I’ve already invested two years of my life in this guy and I don’t think I can start over again.”
Bharati: But her comfort level with him was only a six!
Lim: Yeah. So if you hear her putting it this way, it sounds logical for a business deal, but for your lifelong happiness like a marriage, it doesn’t really make sense.
Bharati: Did it last?
Lim: No, it didn’t.
Bharati: How long were they together?
Lim: A couple of years. Someone else shared with me that she was having second thoughts, but she went ahead with it because she just really wanted to move out of her parents’ house. Sometimes it’s like, “Really? These kinds of things happen?”
Further down, under the “Looking beyond the superficial” subheading:
Bharati: Do you still have people coming to you with height requirements and other such things?
Lim: Yes, all the time. People will be like “Okay, I’m looking for someone who is this tall.” If you ask them why, they don’t even know. They might tell you something like, “Oh, because I like to wear high heels.”
But the truth of the matter is that they just feel that height signals that this person is stronger and this person can protect me. But if you ask them, “Protect you from what? We’re not living in caveman days. There’s no lion or whatever hunting you, right?” – they have nothing to say.
It’s just something that’s sort of programmed in them. For guys, if you ask them, “Why do you like girls with long hair? What’s wrong with girls with short hair?” They really just don’t know why.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life is that human beings will make irrational, illogical decisions when it comes to romance. When it comes to choosing the right partner, someone whom you are supposed to spend your life with, logic is sometimes thrown out of the window. The most nonsensical stigma I’ve encountered is that the female partner must not be taller than the male (??).
Another strange criteria I’ve come across is that “my boyfriend must spend all of his free time with me.” If you cannot give your partner some personal space, if you insist on being clingy, then you are probably not ready for marriage.
No wonder we have rising divorce rates in Singapore. People don’t know what they want, and do things for the sake of doing so without pondering the ramifications. Sounds familiar?