Tonight for dinner, I ordered porridge with pork. There’s a reason why I always ask, “[buying] from where?” whenever someone is buying takeaway for the family. I need to know how long it will take for the food to travel back home, so that I can order an appropriate meal that can survive the journey without perishing too quickly.
This time, I didn’t ask “from where?” because I had automatically assumed that it was going to be from a porridge stall close to my home, which is about a 10-15 minute walk. Still acceptable for porridge, so long as it is consumed ASAP while it’s still fresh.
So when I sat down for dinner with my mom and sister, I opened the plastic bowl packet and was greeted with… water? A slimy, watery mess of what used to be porridge, clumped with pork ingredients.
Without saying a word, I turned to both of my family members with the most dumbfounded expression I could muster.
“WTF IS THIS BULLSHIT?”, read my face.
Turns out that the porridge was purchased from Lau Pa Sat in the Downtown area of Singapore. That’s a 40 minute train journey at least from my house. Porridge + 40 minutes of waiting time = death.
I am normally not picky about food — I will consume anything so long as it is served fresh and does not contain poison. I also hate to waste food. But there are still certain benchmark standards of human tolerance that have to be met. I ordered porridge. What I was eating… was not porridge. It was crap.
I couldn’t bear to finish the meal, and instead filled my stomach with a red bean pastry snack, and headed to the fridge to grab some soy milk and chocolate.
Firstly, I had to endure mild diarrhoea after eating chicken rice. Next, I fell ill with a sore throat and borderline flu after ordering Burger King. Now, pork porridge debris.
Three strikes in a row. I think this is a divine sign from the heavens that it’s time for me to switch to vegan food.