This is absolutely hilarious. I’ll let the crazy folks at Destuctoid do the talking:
Time for yet another hilarious ESRB rating. This time, Super Street Fighter IV has been submitted for approval, and North America’s ratings board has yet again written a brilliant summary of the game, focusing needlessly on perceived sexual content with amusing consequences.
What I love about these summaries is that they look like sixteenth century puritans wrote them. I know that’s not the ESRB’s intent, but the attempts to appear clinical and unbiased makes the whole thing sound funnier. It also gives rise to brilliant phrases like “flexed gluteus.” Check out the ESRB’s sexy content selection:
“Some of the female fighters’ outfits are form-fitting and accentuate their breasts and buttocks; before battle, the camera occasionally zooms-out from close-up views of flexed gluteus. One of the fight stages occurs in a distillery with equipment used for brewing and wooden casks labeled ‘Scotch-Whisky.’ The expletives ‘damn’ and ‘hell’ can be heard in the dialogue.”
Absolute genius. I hereby decree that “flexed gluteus” shall be the official words of my family, house and lords bannerman. It shall be inscribed on my coat of arms. Ad Honerem Flexed Gluteus. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Flexed Gluteus. I’m going to say it again, just for kicks: Flexed Gluteus!